Toronto Counselling and Psychotherapy


Do you have a temper that gets you into trouble? Or is your anger subterranean and self-sabotaging? Many people come to my Toronto counselling office because anger is causing problems in their lives.

Anger is Good:

First of all, let’s clear something up. Anger is not a bad thing. Like our other emotions, it is there for a reason, which is to take care of us. Anger is an emotion that tells us something is wrong. This is why it gives us immediate energy—so we can fix the problem. So there is nothing wrong with having anger. But there can be something very wrong with how we express it—or don’t express it!

Road Rage and Other Sneak Attacks:

Some people find their anger sneaks up on them. One moment they’re fine, the next moment they are furious. Like when you’re driving and someone cuts you off. All of a sudden, you are screaming and ready to run that guy off the road. This can be disturbing, especially for the person who is in the car with you at the time. And it is the sure sign of an anger problem.

Stifled Anger:

Another way that anger can be an issue is when you don’t allow yourself to express it. This is often the case for women. Women in our society are still given the message that being angry means being a “bitch.” And who wants a label like that? So women have a tendency to hide or even deny their anger. Food is often used to stuff it down. Compulsive shopping or tv watching are other ways of coping with it. But, ultimately, whatever is causing the anger does not get dealt with. So the problem persists.

Historic Anger:

Sometimes, angry feelings can be from the past. Just because you are no longer in that frustrating or enraging situation, doesn’t mean those feelings disappear. Unless anger is processed in a deliberate, focused way, it will hang around. And usually, you will act it out without even realizing it.

Anger in Disguise:

Anger can take many different forms. You might do things that make others angry, like show up chronically late. You might agree to do things and then forget. You might be sarcastic or cynical. Or you may be overly harsh in your criticism of others. Some people even use anger as a weapon to get what they want.

Anger Management:

In all of these ways, anger undermines relationships and can cause unnecessary loss. I can help you release historic anger in a safe and therapeutic way. Together, we will examine your anger style. I will then help you to learn constructive ways of expressing your anger. In this way, you will enhance the relationships you have and preserve the new ones that you make.